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Your phone knows you better than your mother-in-law. (However, I suppose that depends on your MIL)

It knows you ordered Thai three times this month. It knows you browse recipes at 4:47 PM. It knows you abandon your grocery cart when the total skyrockets past $200 - quite easy to do these days.

And it will happily feed you an endless scroll of 30-second recipe videos until you’re so overwhelmed you just order Dominos again.

Here’s what the algorithm will never know:

That your grandmother made her chicken soup with a pinch of something she never wrote down. That the secret ingredient in your dad’s grilled cheese was the fact that he made it for you on your worst days. That your aunt’s tamales tasted like belonging, because making them together was the whole point.

We’ve traded ancestry for algorithms. Recipes passed down through generations replaced by recipes passed through a content feed optimized for engagement, not nourishment.

I’m not anti-tech. I’m building an app, for crying out loud. But I’ve sat across from enough families in my years as a chaplain to know this:

The problem was never finding a recipe. The problem was losing the reason to cook one.

Your grandmother didn’t make that soup because she Googled “easy weeknight dinners.” She made it because feeding people was how she said I love you. (At least my Swedish grandmother did). The act of cooking was the message. The table was the delivery system.

The algorithm wants your attention. Your ancestry wanted your presence.

So here’s my challenge for you this week:

Cook one meal from memory.

Not from a pin. Not from a reel. From your memory. Something your mom made. Something your grandfather grilled. Something that reminds you of a kitchen you once stood in as a kid, watching someone love your family with a wooden spoon.

If you can’t remember a recipe, call someone who does. That phone call might be the best thing that happens to either of you this week.

And if you’re sitting at the table with your family tonight, here’s your conversation starter:

“What’s a meal you remember from growing up? Not the recipe — the feeling?”

The algorithm will keep scrolling without you.

Your family won’t.

— Chaps

P.S. If this landed, forward it to someone who needs to hear it. They probably ordered DoorDash last night while a family recipe sat forgotten in a drawer. Let’s change that.

P.P.S. - Please share this newsletter with a family who could use it. Thanks!

Here’s one of my family’s!

Chicken and Dumplings (Modified for the InstantPot to make life easy!)

2 cartons chicken stock

1 can Cream of Chicken soup

1 lb chicken breast (can be frozen)

Chopped celery and carrots (as much as you like or the kids will tolerate)

Salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder (I have no idea how much Grandma put it - she just kept tasting it until it seemed right to her)

2 scoops Better than Boulion (I don’t think they had this when G’ma made it, but hey, it was the 1900s then)

Directions: Put all the above in the IP on Meat/Stew for 35 minutes. Quick release when finished. Remove chicken and shred. Switch to saute and boil. Add dumplings (Okay, now here’s where it gets fun - I have no idea how to make dumplings, so a fun workaround is using Pillsbury biscuits from the refrigerator section of the store.) Cook for about 5 minutes. Good luck!

When finished cooking put shredded chicken back in the pot and stir. Serve and enjoy!