Let me tell you something about my family.
It's as real as yours.
Not Hallmark. Not Hollywood. Far from perfect.
Honestly? Like many families today, disconnected and fractured in places. We're still learning. Still growing. Still figuring it out.
And here's one thing we've learned the hard way:
It's not Mom's fault.
Mom often gets the blame. More likely, she takes the blame.
When the kids are acting out — Mom's fault. When dinner's not on the table — Mom's fault. When everyone's disconnected and scattered — Mom's fault.
Bull.
People are people. Kids are kids. Whether they're two or twenty, they're their own person with their own responsibility. (Read that again!)
Mom can't make everyone connect. She can't force conversation. She can't manufacture memories by sheer willpower.
And she shouldn't have to.
This is a family project. Not a solo mission.
Parents need to show up. Kids need to participate. Everyone at that table has a role to play. This is not about guilt. And I realize every family is different. Sometimes there is just Mom or Dad - divorce happens. Deployments happen. There’s no way to capture every family situation in a single newsletter. And yet this fact remains - Moms often still bear the brunt of the emotional burden.
If you're a mom reading this: let yourself off the hook. You're not the problem.
If you're a dad reading this: step up. Lead. Make this your thing too. (If you already are — keep at it! You got this!)
If you're a kid old enough to understand this: thank your mom. And put your phone down at dinner.
Families work when everyone works at it.
Every family eats. Not every family shares the load.
Tonight's Table Question:
"What's one way each person at this table can contribute to making dinner better?"
This Week's Challenge:
Dads: take one dinner this week. Plan it. Cook it. (Or order it — no judgment.) Just take it off Mom's plate.
Keep showing up.
— Chaps
*The Mission of Dinner Commander is to strengthen families (any and every family - worldwide), one dinner at a time. Please share this with families who could use this encouragement.
P.S. If you're a mom who needed to hear this, hit reply and tell me. And if you're a dad who's stepping up, I want to hear about that too.
P.P.S. Here’s a recipe to try to make this week’s challenge even easier:
Instant Pot Turkey and Sweet Potato Chili. My family loves it!
A hearty, nutritious American chili that swaps expensive beef for ground turkey and uses sweet potatoes for bulk and flavor. It's naturally dairy-free and packed with fiber.
Ingredients
1 lb ground turkey (or pork or hamburger)
1 large sweet potato, peeled and diced small
1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes (undrained)
1 onion, diced
1 bell pepper, diced
1 cup chicken broth or water
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp salt
Instructions
Set the Instant Pot* to 'Sauté'. Add the ground turkey and cook until browned, breaking it up with a spoon. Drain excess fat if needed.
Add the onion and bell pepper to the pot and sauté for 2 minutes.
Turn off 'Sauté'. Add the chili powder, cumin, salt, sweet potato, black beans, diced tomatoes, and broth. Stir well.
Secure the lid and set valve to 'Sealing'. Cook on Manual/High Pressure for 10 minutes.
Let the pressure release naturally for 5 minutes, then quick release the rest.
Stir gently. The sweet potatoes should be tender and help thicken the chili.
*If you cook the meat first in a skillet, you can also use a slow cooker or a pot on the stove and just cook it longer.